Performance development and management often gets a bad rap – it can feel formal, forced, awkward or focused on fixing problems or filling out a form.
What if performance conversations were about growth, not judgment? What if, instead of just managing performance, we coached it?
When leading teams or juggling multiple roles, this mindset shift can transform how you connect, motivate, and hold your people accountable.
- Ask Before You Tell
When things don’t go to plan, resist the instinct to jump in directly with solutions or the provision of the answers. Coaching begins with curiosity.
Try asking, and listening openly to the responses:
- “What worked well?”
- “What would you do differently next time?”
- “What else could you consider?”
These questions encourage reflection and ownership. The team member becomes part of the solution, not the problem. You can still provide guidance—just do it after you’ve listened.
- Catch People Doing Good
Feedback isn’t just about correction – it’s also about recognition. However, it’s a dreaded process by many people (leaders and team members’ alike) because we often don’t do it well or often, and when we do – it is often only focused on the negative.
Instead, make it a habit to notice small wins and acknowledge them out loud:
“I noticed how you handled that client call – clear and calm under pressure. Nice work.”
Positive reinforcement builds confidence and reinforces what “good” looks like. It drives momentum far more effectively than an annual performance review.
- Develop Strengths, Don’t Fix Weaknesses
We develop faster when we build on what energises us. Research from the Centre for Creative Leadership and insights from strength focused work (i.e. Strengths Profile and Gallup), shows that focusing on strengths leads to higher engagement and sustainable performance than focusing on developing or fixing weaknesses.
Instead of asking, “What needs fixing?” ask:
- Is this weakness actually a risk?
- If yes, which strengths can help support or balance it?
This reframes development from “repair” into “growth”.
- Balance Care with Challenge
A coaching approach doesn’t avoid accountability or ownership. Rather it is about blending emotional awareness with clear expectations.
Set direction, provide feedback, and hold space for people to learn. When leaders model curiosity and consistency, they build trust and trust aids driving performance.
And remember: knowing when to seek support is also good leadership. Some situations are complex. Reach out for guidance when needed.
Where to Start
Shifting from managing to coaching takes practice. Start small and keep going:
- Replace judgment with curiosity.
- Listen actively without interruption.
- Recognise what’s working, not just what isn’t.
- Develop people’s strengths and unrealised strengths, not weaknesses.
- Repeat these discussions, and do this regularly to build trust and better performance.
The best performance cultures are definitely not built on paperwork and forced pro-forma performance meetings, they’re built on on-going real conversation, curiosity, and care.
Looking for more support or guidance?
Kate Bacchus | Founder, HR Butter
LinkedIn @katebacchus
